Drug-buyers inconvenienced by Silk Road Closure

Alarming reports are emerging from the streets of major American cities, as casual drug-buyers make their way outdoors in a desperate bid to purchase drugs following the closure of drug-selling website, Silk Road.

Some, making the journey outdoors for the first time in years, described their confusion at how to go about buying drugs in real life. Vailey.com spoke to one such man (who wishes to remain anonymous) and asked him to share his experience.

“The sun was the first thing I noticed” he said. “My eyes couldn’t adjust to the light. It was all too much. I was stumbling around, blinking, trying to find a dealer but I’ve never bought drugs offline so I didn’t know the signs or the spots. I kept getting hookers and tourists rather than someone who could help me”.

Our source is not the only person experiencing difficulty. Concerns are being raised among members of the United States Postal Service over a drop in the amount of packages being shipped. Ida Stamp, a postal employee in New Orleans, bravely came out last week and directly linked the growing worry over jobs to the loss of Silk Road packages.

“What are we going to deliver now?” she asked. “The packages were so light and fragrant” she reminisced.

The closure has also impacted the financial sector, with the leaking of a candid photo of the Winklevoss twins anxiously staring at preev.com and watching the value of Bitcoin fall by 15% causing great embarrassment to the entrepreneurs.

“It was weird. They shared a tear between them” remarked one Twitter user.

Meanwhile, conspiracy theories abound that Silk Road founder, Ross Ulbricht, was framed in an elaborate web of lies.

“I’m just sayin’. Breaking Bad is gone what, two days? Breaking Bad goes. Silk Road goes. Not rocket science, man” said one semi-reliable source.

Those on the street who have successfully made the transition from the “Amazon of Drugs” to buying on the streets continue to have serious issues.

“It’s really upsetting” said Isaac, a former Silk Road client. “Not only do we have to go outside to buy our drugs now, but the quality isn’t as good. The last batch of coke I got was cut with the blood of the guy who ran it over the border. I don’t need that. I don’t need to know where it comes from. It’s like when they leave the head on a fish in a restaurant and you can see its face. Gross”.

The closure of a major player like Silk Road will be a boost to the drug-trafficking industry, which has been going from strength to strength in recent years. It hasn’t all been smooth (drug) running though. The industry has been plagued with allegations of laziness, with many citing the time taken to decapitate argumentative locals and rival gang members as a prime example of inefficiency in the sector. Measures have been taken to make the mass-murder more time-efficient, with some success being found in mass body-dumping on highways.

“It saves so much time” claims a Los Zetas gang member. “We don’t have to dump bodies individually any more or even try to hide them or go off-road. Saves money on gas too”.

The American government agrees more measures need to be taken.

“We’ve done everything we can” said DEA officer Whiteout. “We’ve built prisons exclusively for people caught with small amounts of drugs and we keep them there forever. That way only the best people can work in the industry and we keep the inept ones off the streets. It’s working brilliantly. We’re seeing great innovation in the sector. Like when the cartel created its own radio network across Mexico to communicate privately. That was a doozy. We’re getting some really high quality dealers and the artistry of their kills is a joy to behold. The only problem is we’re running out of prison space. And the Mexicans are running out of body-bags”.

Isaac leaves us with the final word:

“It just sucks when you have your freedom taken away from you”.

For more by Sarah Garvey, check out www.theemptyshirt.com


Link to drug statistics – What the drug war really costs.

Mass body dumpings – effective and efficient.

Link to cartel radio network.

Link to effort by former Silk Road clients to set up Silk Road 2.0, only to find that drug suppliers are too scared to go back online.


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