US to ditch petrochemical dollar in favor of buttons

Ben Bernankie, the chief bean counter at The Federal Reserve Bank may completely clear out the USD as a currency in favor of shiny yellow buttons, apparently in order to cut down on the amount of killing required to support the petrochemical note.

“Our research has shown us that as a private company out only out to serve our shareholders the Fed doesn’t have to give a shit about what the average man in the street thinks, however we just took a good look at the world, realized that we were probably being a bit too naughty and obvious in the theft of the worlds economies and resources, so we are quite simply going to calm it down for a bit.

The new yellow buttons that will be made by Hugo Boss will be legal tender, however we will only be able to make them in the USA. Nobody has to worry, we will still control the production of yellow buttons and will easily be able to swop them for valuable commodities such as oil, gas, metals and minerals from third world countries. In return they can  trade these awesome buttons among themselves, or kill each other for them, or whatever, it is not like we really give a fuck.

We can also lend third world countries yellow buttons to buy back their own resources from our great American companies, and we will of course be charging a super high interest rate just to keep everyone under our boot!” said Bernanke

Links:  China still not caught up with the idea of buttons

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